Firstly, your mother did not commit suicide because of Elephant I never knew how much love grandma shirt. When people are so overcome with negativity and lack of hope, that they take their own lives, they believe that everyone else will be better off without them. Your mother probably felt that way too. She was probably so depressed that she couldnt see how much you would miss her, let alone need her. Maybe some grief counselling would be a good starting point. It sounds like you havent allowed yourself to grieve.
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