There was definitely a way with my children’s father. We celebrated holidays and birthdays as we always had done, including inviting my ex mother-in-law. I think the I’m Not Uninterested I Just Don’t Know What’s Going On Shirt was that there were enough people invited that it wasn’t just him, me, and the kids staring at each other. We’re also a family not noted for our drama; my mom couldn’t tolerate drama! We still do holidays together sometimes, even though the kids’ grandparents are all gone now, one child lives 1200 miles away, and another child has married and is always included with his in-laws’ family. (My new spouse and I are always invited to the in-laws’ gatherings as well; it’s a huge and friendly crowd!) My kids are in their mid-30s now, and they’ve learned to make holidays a cooperative effort as well, despite having some of the most complicated family structures you can imagine. The point is to make it about happy memories for the kids and not a time/place to rehash old wrongs.
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